Introduction: Change is a deeply personal journey, and supporting someone through it requires patience, empathy, and understanding. Whether your loved one is striving to break a habit, adopt a healthier lifestyle, or make a significant life decision, your role as a supporter can be both impactful and challenging. It is therefore important to recognize that change is rarely linear, and everyone moves at their own pace.
In this article, weโll explore 'specific' case of a person, and also 'general' practical ways to encourage and empower someone to change without overstepping boundaries or creating pressure. By fostering a supportive environment and practicing compassionate communication, you can help them take meaningful steps forward while strengthening your relationship in the process.
Title: "๐๐๐ก๐ฅ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ค๐ข๐๐ค๐ฃ๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐พ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐"
Subtitle:
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ (๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐) ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข '๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐' ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ข
Index
Helpful Links (*)
โถ๐๐ฑ๐บ๐ถ๐ป: ๐๐ง ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ๐ง๐ถ๐ญ, ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ฆ ๐จ๐๐๐ง๐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ต ๐ช๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ค๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด (๐ง๐ข๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ๐บ/๐ง๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด). ๐๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ ๐ถ๐ด ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฅ๐ช๐ท๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ข๐ด๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ, ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐จย & ๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ฏ๐ด๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ญ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ด. "๐๐๐๐ง๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐จ ๐๐๐ง๐ซ๐๐ฃ๐"
The following was written in response to a query we received on our Samadhanย WhatsApp group in Jan 2025.
โโโโโโโโโโโโ
๐Let us begin from it all began. Here is a ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ฒ of your message:
As you said, you ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ข๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ this person and this relationship... The way it happened was a 'conscious choice'.
๐ปWhen it happened, you found in them the 'qualities' that you asked for... With time, and by now, you feel that they are ๐ง๐จ๐ญ '๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ ๐ง๐๐' ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐-๐ฉ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐. There is also a difference in sanskaras (nature).
โถHere is our response>>>
I sense that, you would have the basic 'spiritual understanding' that is required here, and so we wont go into detail in that direction.
The light that you asked us to shed is the light that will help you see what was missed before.
"๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ฎ๐ค๐ฃ๐ ๐๐จ ๐๐ซ๐ค๐ก๐ซ๐๐ฃ๐"
Back then when you manifested this relationship, you were (spiritually speaking) ๐ ๐๐ข๐๐๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง. Your own ๐ฆ๐๐๐๐ฃ๐ค๐ฅ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ค๐๐ฃ๐๐ค, ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ง๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ '๐ค๐๐๐ค๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐' has changed. You have 'evolved' in your path.... and so did the other soul (your spouse in this life).
๐ณEven when you do not find them 'alligned' to your ๐ฉ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐๐ฒ ๐จ๐ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐ , they are very much alligned, to their own. Understanding this, you can develop ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฎ๐๐ฅ ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฉ๐๐๐ญ and set boundaries to WHAT and HOW MUCH your-self to share, how much of ๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐ to spend, and how much ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐จ for each other.
โ๏ธYou are definitely not to miss an 'opportunity' ๐ญ๐จ ๐ก๐๐ฅ๐ฉ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฆ, whenever and however. Beyond words, the spiritual help can always be given, ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐ฏ๐ข๐๐ซ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ง๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฒ.
โญWe call it '๐๐๐ ๐๐จ๐' (sending intense thoughts/vibrations/energy with the intention to 'heal' or 'help' someone). Even ๐ซ๐๐๐ข๐๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐จ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐, ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ & ๐๐ฅ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ for someone is a lighter form of Sakash.
We invite you to learn about 'Sakash' through our this post๐ https://www.shivbabas.org/forum/question-answers/sakash-meaning-purpose-method (๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฏ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ, ๐๐ถ๐ณ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฆ, ๐๐ฆ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฅ)
Spiritual Wisdom & Advice
Surely you can see if you can contribute to their (your spouse's) life ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ฅ๐ฒ. Try this with experiments. "Do everything good you wish to do for them, selflessly, and then leave it to the universe, and to that soul's destiny"
๐When your ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ญ (job/role) is done, you have the option to 'stay' or 'leave'. Know that, mostly, it is better to 'leave' when your work is done, so that ๐๐ญ๐ญ๐๐๐ก๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐๐จ๐๐ฌ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ ๐ซ๐จ๐ฐ. Attachment to the ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง, or to the result (๐๐ซ๐ฎ๐ข๐ญ) of karma, becomes the cause of misery. Therefore, be 'selfless' and 'detached' in all your doings.
๐ชปA large reason one must be ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐๐ฅ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ in all their doings, is that--"๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ณ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ณ๐ฎ๐ข, ๐ช๐ด ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐จ๐ฆ๐ต ๐ข ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ถ๐ญ๐ต, ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ-๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง"
and remember:
"๐๐๐๐ฉ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐๐ค ๐๐ค๐ง ๐ค๐ฉ๐๐๐ง๐จ, ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐๐ค ๐๐ค๐ง ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง-๐จ๐๐ก๐"
and thus,
"๐๐๐๐ฉ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐๐๐๐ก ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐ค ๐๐ค๐ง ๐๐ฃ๐ค๐ฉ๐๐๐ง, ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐๐๐๐ก ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐ค ๐๐ค๐ง ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง-๐จ๐๐ก๐"
Miss no opportunity to give help, to ๐ฌ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ what to have in excess, and to express your love & kindness.
โ๏ธThis is all you need to keep in ๐๐จ๐๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ค๐ค... This is the essence-nectar of ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐-๐ฐ๐ข๐ฌ๐๐จ๐ฆ. "We all should treat each other, as we wish to be treated". But in doing so, ๐๐จ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ก, the truth of your being. Light up your own soul before you go on to light another's... BE HAPPY FIRST in order to share your happiness.
๐ทAbove all, ๐ฑ๐ผ ๐ฑ๐ผ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ป๐ด๐ '๐ท๐ผ๐' ๐๐ผ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐, ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ '๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฒ' ๐๐ผ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐๐ผ๐๐น. When you do this, you can pave your own path, make your own way... ๐๐๐ข๐๐ข๐๐๐ง: We all are gifted with this "inner compass" that constantly guide us towards God, our ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข within. So trust your 'intuition' and life live with 'awareness'.
Practical Suggestions
Remember: Your love, patience and unconditional support itself can make a great difference to someone's life. Here are some practical steps to help them effectively and compassionately:
1โ Understand Their Motivation
Listen without judgment to their goals, fears, and reasons for wanting to make a shift.
Avoid imposing your own expectations or agendaโthis is their journey
2โ Be Patient and Non-Judgmental
Change takes time, and setbacks are normal. Avoid criticizing or expressing frustration if progress is slow.
Offer encouragement and remind them that small steps still count.
3โ Offer Support, Not Control
Be a source of encouragement, but avoid trying to control their actions or decisions.
Respect their autonomy and let them take ownership of their process.
4โ Help Them Set Realistic Goals
Break down their larger goal into smaller, manageable steps.
Celebrate their achievements, no matter how small, to keep them motivated.
5โ Provide a Safe Space
Create an environment where they feel comfortable sharing their struggles and successes.
Avoid being overly critical or dismissive of their efforts.
6โ Encourage Self-Reflection
Gently guide them to reflect on their progress and challenges.
Help them identify whatโs working and what might need adjustment.
7โ Be a Positive Role Model
If applicable, model the behavior or mindset theyโre striving for.
Share your own experiences with change, including challenges and how you overcame them.
8โ Avoid Enabling Negative Patterns
While being supportive, avoid enabling behaviors that hinder their progress.
Set healthy boundaries if their actions negatively impact you or others.
9โ Suggest Professional Help if Needed
If their change involves overcoming addiction, mental health struggles, or other complex issues, encourage them to seek professional support.
Offer to help them find resources or accompany them to appointments if theyโre comfortable.
10โ Practice Self-Care
Supporting someone through change can be emotionally taxing. Ensure youโre taking care of your own well-being.
Set boundaries to avoid burnout and maintain a healthy balance in your relationship.
Helping someone change is about being a steady, compassionate presence in their life. By offering support without pressure, you can empower them to take meaningful steps forward. Remember, change is a journey, and your role is to walk alongside them, not to lead the way.
Helpful Links
Post: ๐๐ผ๐ ๐๐ผ ๐๐น๐๐ฎ๐๐ ๐๐ผ ๐ฅ๐ถ๐ด๐ต๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ฟ๐บ๐ฎ
Post: Helping Someone on Addiction
Post: How to Handle Rude People?
โโโโโโโโโโโโ
๐ต๐๐๐๐๐พ๐๐๐...
Oแ แOแชแชY SแดแแฏIแแด,
๐ธ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐พ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐พ๐๐๐ ๐ญ๐๐๐ ๐พ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ด๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ (SBSI)
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