We receive numerous queries on this subject via email and our Samadhan WhatsApp groups. Here is our more detailed and refined answer/spiritual guidance on the topic of "healing and managing a non-married love-relationship"
Title: "๐๐๐๐ก๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฃ-๐ข๐๐ง๐ง๐๐๐ ๐๐ค๐ซ๐-๐ง๐๐ก๐๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐จ๐๐๐ฅ"
Subtitle: ๐ป๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐.
โถ๐๐ฑ๐บ๐ถ๐ป: ๐๐ง ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ๐ง๐ถ๐ญ, ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ฆ ๐จ๐๐๐ง๐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ต ๐ช๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ค๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด (๐ง๐ข๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ๐บ/๐ง๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด). ๐๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ ๐ถ๐ด ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฅ๐ช๐ท๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ข๐ด๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐บ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ. "๐๐๐๐ง๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐จ ๐๐๐ง๐ซ๐๐ฃ๐"
The following was written in response to a query we received on our Samadhanย WhatsApp group in May 2024.
โโโโโโโโโโโโ
Foreword
๐ดSo you are newly discovering 'love' through this relationship. There would naturally be ups and downs, and you will have a difference of opinion... But surely ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ & ๐๐๐๐ฉ, ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ง๐ญ ๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฉ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ in any wayโnot matter what your lover say or do.
๐ปThis is because ๐ฉ๐ง๐ช๐ ๐ก๐ค๐ซ๐ ๐๐ง๐๐ฃ๐๐จ ๐ช๐จ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ช๐ฃ๐๐ฉ๐ฎ... You no longer identify your-self as 'different' from your lover. Then how can you disrespect, hurt, or be hurt by your own self!
โ๏ธOf course, this may sound unreal to many. In today's time, rarely any relationship offer us the experience of complete unity. But the very meaning of love is ๐ช๐ฃ๐ก๐๐ข๐๐ฉ๐๐, ๐๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ฃ๐๐ก, ๐ช๐ฃ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐๐ก >> if love fails in any of these 3 aspects, it is not the highest expression of love.
๐You have heard what love really is... Now it time you can ๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฌ๐๐จ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ง ๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฌ๐๐จ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐. Does your relationship provide this experience? It is ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ in the sense "never ending" and is it ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ in the sense "without a reason or condition" and is it ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ in the sense of time?
๐ฟIt is very important ๐๐ผ ๐๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ ๐น๐ผ๐๐ฒ ๐ถ๐. So here is a perfect answer to it i have published recently on our Forum๐ What is True Love? (must read)
Guidance for Healing Relationship
Whatever the past may be, and whatever may have happened, you wish to HEAL this relationship now... and you are indeed trying to take the first step towards healing >> that is >> "๐๐๐๐๐ก๐ฅ๐๐๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ ๐๐๐ค๐ฅ๐๐๐ & ๐๐ค๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฃ ๐๐ ๐ฃ๐๐๐ง๐๐๐๐ค๐ค"
๐This should ๐๐ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ก๐๐๐ซ๐ญ, ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐๐ฌ... And you will do this by heart, when there is no 'ego' or 'hurt' left. What does that mean then? Right... In order to heal this relationship, must you ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฟ๐๐ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฎ๐น ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ผ๐๐ป ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐.
๐ฑ๐๐๐๐ค๐ฃ๐ >> ๐พ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ง๐ ๐ ๐ก๐๐ฃ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฅ๐๐๐... Explain your point of view and show to him/her your best side. "All human beings do mistakes now and then... not because they want to hurt another, but because they feel hurt within"
๐ชปExpression of anger is nothing but ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฐ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ซ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ซ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง... But in truth, the anger remains & the hurt grows. The ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง therefore, is to ๐๐๐๐ ๐ข๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ก๐๐๐๐ ๐ข๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ข ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐' ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ , and ask the question "๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ช๐ง ๐ช ๐ข๐ฎ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฏ" >> the answer to this question is the answer to living life consciously. You will never hurt anyone when you live in the awareness of this question "what if i was them?"
๐ชดOf course, as you live with this ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, you no longer need to worry of what others do or say. They may still be hurt, but not because of you... Your work is within, remember. ๐๐ก๐๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ข๐ง๐ง๐๐ซ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐ญ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐, ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฆ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐๐ฑ๐ฉ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ญ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฌ๐ข๐๐โ๐๐ฃ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง ๐ง๐๐ก๐๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐จ๐๐๐ฅ๐จ, ๐๐๐๐ก๐ฉ๐, ๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐ค๐ ๐ข๐๐ฃ๐, ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ฃ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง ๐๐๐๐๐จ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐จ/๐๐๐ค๐๐๐๐จ.
โญThe way to achieve this inner peace is ๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฌ๐ผ๐ด ๐ ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ถ๐๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป. We invite you to learn RajYog meditation through our official guide.
โWe also suggest you to learn what we call ๐ ๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ๐ณ๐๐น๐ป๐ฒ๐๐ ๐ ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ถ๐๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป >> this has helped millions of people to achieve 'peace' and a 'balanced life'.
Learn about Mindfulness Meditation ๐ https://www.mindful.org/meditation/mindfulness-getting-started
๐๐ฑ๐๐ถ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐ฟ ๐ฌ๐ผ๐
Now that we have given the ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ that will help you first understand what true love is, and second, help you to achieve ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐โit is time to give direct advice.
FIRST โค You should do the inner work as guided above
SECOND โค Go and talk with him/her personally (not over the phone). Explain your side and be open to hear theirs... give & seek forgivesness with a joint-promise that "this wont happen again"
THIRD โค After doing this, if they understand, forgive you, and keep the relationship alive >> then all well >> but if he doesn't >> then you must understand that this relationship lacks true love... If they feel disrespected, then they are acting with 'ego' and does not love you truly. And even if they love you truly, then still the relationship is not meant to proceed further. You need to hear the signals of the Universe in every phase of live.
๐BUT > it is important ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ฅ๐๐ฆ๐ them or yourself >> this was an "experience" of life and love that you will always cherish... and with time you will realise how beneficial this experience was that shaped you and made you ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฌ๐๐ซ, ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐ซ, ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ง๐๐ข๐ง๐ .
Lastly, here is our general guidance on ๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐น๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ฎ ๐ป๐ผ๐ป-๐บ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐น๐ผ๐๐ฒ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐น๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐๐ต๐ถ๐ฝ
โ๏ธSo this is all the help & guidance we offer. Follow all what i have written above. See the benefit it brings. Please visit the links.
"all the best"
โโโโโโโโโโโโ
๐ต๐๐๐๐๐พ๐๐๐...
Oแ แOแชแชY SแดแแฏIแแด,
๐ธ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐พ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐พ๐๐๐ ๐ญ๐๐๐ ๐พ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ด๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ (SBSI)
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